Drowning in the Silence
by XX-Samantha-XX
Summary: So, what happened immediately after Andy died? What was going through Casey's and Severide's minds? Read to find out. Of course this is going to be angsty! Warning for Cannon Death!


_Well i couldn't help but write something angsty for what happened in the first 5-10 minutes of the first episode seen as our Casey was right there and saw what happened to Andy so here is the immediate aftermath that we didn't see on the show but with Severide being a pillar of support rather than how they were portrayed in the show because we all know they are best friends really !_

_The characters aren't mine i just enjoy playing with them for a bit !_

**Drowning in the Silence **

It was as if the heat was burning his face, never mind his eyes.

He could feel the prickly heat scorching the vision of his friend in flames forever into his brain.

He'd known in that moment.

He'd had no chance.

Not even with Shay and Dawson two seconds away, Andy hadn't stood a chance.

Everything had slowed down by about ten times and he didn't remember coming down the ladder. Had someone got him or had he come down himself.

Either way, not a lot was making sense right now.

Everything was...odd...disconnected...muscle movement was slow.

Then someone was talking...shouting? at him, but he couldn't hear them because there was someone screaming.

Pointlessly shouting, echoing in the silence that now encompassed the street.

As if he were submerged underwater, its icy pressure holding him fast, unable to surface.

Nothing felt real, nothing...maybe it was just some hellish nightmare and he would wake up soon...

Everything did have an odd orange/yellow tinge to it...

But then why wasn't he waking up?

And why could he vaguely feel someone shaking his shoulders to get his attention.

And why in the hell was all he could see; Andy engulfed in flames. Screaming.

There was still someone shouting his name, shouting for all they were worth.

And everything was still going ten times slower than they should.

That wasn't normal, wasn't rational to be shouting for someone that much and not get a response at all, or things to be going past in slow motion.

X-Chicago Fire-X

Kelly Severide shook himself out of the daze he found himself in. Looking around he found himself on the floor and briefly wondered what had happened...

Then it all came back in a rush...fire...heat...Matt shouting...wait...

Ignoring the aches and pains as he climbed up off the floor; he had the feeling that something was horribly wrong...

The house was too silent...the fire was out but he should be able to hear the heavy footsteps of his fellow men...but there was nothing...

Rushing outside, he realised a few things all at once.

His hearing was off, probably because of the rush of flames through the house.

Everyone was rushing around like they usually would, but seemed panicked rather than calm.

As if everyone knew something was wrong here.

Matt was up on the ladder, which wasn't unusual normally but...

It was the way he was holding on to it, and looking at the window Andy had breached; as if frozen to the spot and absolutely terrified.

And that wasn't like Matthew Casey, not one bit.

That shocked him enough to clear his senses and ask the chief what was wrong.

But before the chief could get any words out, the radio came to life with Matt's voice.

It was raw and held a tone that no one wanted to hear in their line of work.

_'Andy's gone'_

Kelly's world would have tilted were it not for the hope he didn't see a body therefore didn't believe it and the fact that Matt still hadn't moved from up the ladder staring into nothing now which was a precarious place to be if you weren't properly taking notice.

"Chief, has anyone tried to get Casey down?"

Kelly questioned as Shay and Dawson walked passed with a stretcher to meet Mouch and Cruz coming out of the door of the house looking solemn with Andy between them.

So it was true then.

That was why Matt just seemed to stand there.

He'd just seen their friend die before his own eyes and not been able to do anything to stop it.

Kelly completely forgot wanting an answer to his question and moved towards Casey, aiming to get him off the ladder before he fell off due to muscle strain at being in the same position for too long.

It was only when Kelly got a few rungs away from Casey, that he realised just how a precarious position Matt was really in.

It wasn't going to be an easy task to get Matt down, not in the shocked state he was in.

For a brief moment he wanted just to shout some sense into Matt, but then he couldn't really say he wouldn't have been the same if their roles had been reversed and he'd seen what happened.

"Casey?" Kelly tried to keep his voice calm; he could have his own breakdown later but right now his other best friend needed him.

Though it was difficult, the smell that he'd been ignoring the whole time seemed stronger here, even though Andy had been moved.

The smell of burnt flesh.

Sure it wasn't the first time they had all smelt it but this time is was so much worse because it had been one of their own.

He realised he'd phased out himself for a little bit and did his best to focus on the current situation.

The chief's deep tense voice came through on his radio, "How's he doing, Severide.", Severide briefly looked down to see everyone waiting with baited breath, fear hidden in their eyes. If Casey slipped he could be seriously hurt or worse, and they'd had enough bad news today.

"Not good Chief, he isn't responding to me."

There was nothing anyone else could do though, but wait and hope and be ready just in case.

Taking another step up the ladder to place his hand on his friend's back to try and ground him, Severide hoped that he would jump out of his skin and fall backwards, taking them both down.

"Casey...Matt, come on, there's nothing that you can do here." Hope rose up within him when he felt Casey move slightly under his hand.

In response, Casey held on tighter with both hands and mumbled something that almost broke Kelly's own meagre defences down right there and then.

"I'm sorry...I...I didn't stop him...I..."

Though, it wasn't the lost tone that got to him the most, he'd caught a glimpse of the other man's face.

It wasn't Casey's usually stoic expression of rationality, it was just blank and his eyes almost glazed and Kelly knew that Matt wouldn't remember any of this later. Not the conversation nor the way he gripped the ladder as if he were a scared child having gone to high up a tree...but then maybe that was for the best.

His hand still on Casey's back, he could feel the muscles straining at the effort to stay in the position they were in. Looking very briefly at his watch he saw that he had been like this for at least twenty minutes that he had seen but it was probably more than that as he had been in the building for some of it.

"Come on, Matt, you must be getting tired and we don't want you falling."

Casey seemed to hear that for a moment as he looked around and underneath him and Kelly saw the moment when something clicked in his friends mind. But as soon as it was there it was gone, lost amidst the silent anguish pouring out of Casey's eyes.

For one heart-stopping moment, Kelly whole heartedly believed that Casey was contemplating jumping off the ladder...

...but that wasn't who Casey was, and he could just be projecting his own fear into the situation; scared of losing someone else important to him in the space of an hour.

Severide sighed with much needed relief as Casey's feet starting making the decent to safety once again.

The joy was short lived though, as soon as he and Casey reached the ground, Casey merely sat on the kerb by the opposite side of the road to where the house was and stared blankly straight on ahead.

Kelly searched everyone's expressions for answers, the answers weren't forthcoming as it was him that knew Casey the best but even he was at a loss on what to do now.

The danger had been taken out of the situation and the reality was settling into everyone that was there. They'd lost one of their own.

Sometimes life was just this cruel, the heroes didn't win and even a happy endings could be tarred with death and pain and horror.

Kelly could feel himself succumbing to his emotions and before he knew it he was shaking Matt by the shoulders, trying to snap him out of the haze he was in. He was scared and he needed someone who had known Andy just as much as he had, someone to talk to, someone who would take his crap without question because that's just how they both were, Casey would take his crap and turn it into something constructive and while Casey mostly internalised things, Severide knew what to do to get him out of his low times.

But this, this Severide had only really seen in Casey once or twice and it generally had something to do with his family and the murder of his father.

The team had almost intervened when Kelly had started shaking Matt by the shoulders; but a look from Severide told them that he'd done this before and knew what he was doing.

So, Kelly, not caring what anyone thought about him and what he was about to do, did what he always did on those rare occasions that Casey seemed unreachable.

He place his hands either side of Matt's soot covered face and spoke softly.

"Matt, this was not your fault, none of it, he probably would have gone in anyway, even if the chief had told him not to. We both know what he was like, you couldn't have stopped him. It was not your fault, you tried to tell him."

As soon as hands were placed on his face, Matt, realised that he could hear again and everyone seemed to be watching what was happening here. Kelly was sat right in front of him, grounding him to the harsh new reality that they now all faced.

"But he was your best friend and I couldn't save him, what kind of friend does that make me?"

The childish innocence in the tone had always caused tears to well up in Severide's eyes in moments like these, moments where Matt would regress to a teenager being told that his mother had killed his father, scared, confused and hoping that this time he would have someone that would be there.

Severide ignored the question Casey had asked as Casey had a way of saying one thing and meaning another sometimes and this was one of them. He was asking if Severide blamed him, if Severide could stand him now he thought that he'd killed someone Severide cared a lot about.

"You didn't do anything wrong Matt, nothing," He gripped ever so slightly tighter to get his point across, "I can't blame you for this, its wasn't your fault."

Casey looked at Severide for a good few minutes, trying to see if he was just saying it to comfort him, saying it because he was stupid and weak and had let a good man die but he could handle the truth so was just lying to him.

He saw no deception in Kelly's eyes, only the loss and anguish that they were all feeling and felt horrible for making the situation worse by psychologically checking out like he did.

"I'm sorry for all this." Matt spoke softly.

"You don't need to be." He answered with all the conviction in the world, he sighed in relief when Casey seemed to accept what he had said though they both knew that this would trouble everyone for a while to come.

Severide knew he didn't have to say anything more, he moved slightly to sit side by side with Casey and slung one arm across his friend's shoulders in a one-armed hug.

Silently offering support, there were not more words needed between the two friends.

Shay silently came up to him, having been wondering what was happing and needing to get the rest of the team some good news to think about.

"Are you guys okay?"

"We will be." Severide said with a small smile as he looked to his side at Matt, he looked weary but determined to carry on.

They may have lost one of their own today but as long as they had each other they would make it through the tragedy and come out stronger for it.

**The End **

_Okay well i went for a sappy friendship ending but i would have loved to see something like this on the show, even some of the immediate aftermath would have been good right?_

_Soo lemme know what you think!_


End file.
